February 06, 2011

Does This Smell Like Chloroform?

I wonder what chloroform smells like. Can you even remember? Or is it like being knocked out where you don't really remember anything for the few seconds before?
Boyfriend tells me that he's going to chloroform me. Mainly this is because I find it extremely amusing to play the Penis Game (to be fair I give him ample warning by quoting the lines from one of my favorite movies) and he finds it extremely horrible and otherwise awful. The conversation goes a little like this...

Me - ... That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard...
Boyfriend - NO!
Me - ... No, it's cool. I promise.
Boyfriend - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!! *flies at me and covers my mouth*
Me - I'll go first.............................
Boyfriend - Don't you dare Leyah NO!
Me - Penis...
Boyfriend - *Tackles me* Do you WANT to know what chloroform smells like? I WILL chloroform you damn you!
Me - PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Collapses in helpless laughter as Boyfriend starts smothering me with a pillow*

                                                               Five minutes later.
Me - *All quiet and good and trying really hard to stop giggling*
Boyfriend - Are you done?
Me - *Muffled* Mhm
Boyfriend - Are you sure?
Me - *Muffled* Yes
Boyfriend - How sure?
Me - *Muffled* Very sure
Boyfriend - *Slowly removes pillow*
Me - PENIS!
Boyfriend - *Cracks up laughing and tries to shut me up again* DAMN YOU! I am going to chloroform you!

Ok so after that then I'm actually good and quiet and well behaved. Relatively. But I stop with the Penis Game. And, not to give you the wrong idea, I'm actually a very good girlfriend and rarely play this game. Or I'll start with the lines but never actually get past the initial movie lines because, well, I'm nice. Because, as previously stated, I'm a good girlfriend and like keeping my boytoy extraordinarily happy. This is mainly due to the fact that he keeps me super happy too.

Another thing about chloroform - can it kill you? Can you overdose on it? Hmmmmmmmm.... OH I wonder if you can be allergic to chloroform.
That's it! I'll tell Boyfriend I'm allergic to chloroform and he can no longer threaten me with it's nonexistent existence.
I wonder if you can be allergic to flunitrazepam. That would be crazy! The guy's just like I only meant to rufi her, I didn't want her to die. Oh how horrible. This is a now disturbing thought and I am moving on.

Back to allergies, I don't have any. I am really happy I don't have any. But then I have this sneaking suspicion that I actually have allergies and if I stop eating something it will miraculously make me taller and slimmer and healthier than ever and I could be a super woman model of the world! And then I promptly feel ridiculous because if anyone was going to be a super woman model of the world it would probably be Rachel McAdams.

Allergies are completely strange. I wonder when people started having allergies. It would have had to be after paleolithic times. Modern humans... Because really, it's not like the Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus who barely had stone tools, no forms of art, and rudimentary control of fire could have figured out that hey I ate a strawberry and it killed me, I shouldn't eat another one. And that being the case, they all would have been dead!
OH MY GOD I just figured out why the Neanderthals all died! They had allergies! YES! I am a genius.

Well I'm kinda sad. I realized that The Office is not going to end but they're losing Michael. He's quitting! And then the show will go on. That's horrible. If they try and replace key characters, especially on a 7 season show, the show goes to crap.

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