March 02, 2011


Today I am writing about Public Displays of Affection, otherwise known as gross if you're not hot.

PDA tends to be a touchy subject (I was going to write no pun intended but then I realized that intending a pun would be funny although it is horrifically lame). It seems as though everyone and their mother (and sometimes grandmother) believes it within their right to suck the face off of whoever, whenever, and where ever they want to!

In a perfect, beautiful world where there are perfect, beautiful people this would not be a problem whatsoever.
However, this is neither a perfect or beautiful world and there are few perfect and beautiful people. Obviously that leaves the antithesis of those.

No one wants to see two unattractive people performing a pre-make-a-baby act in the middle of a hall, building, street, or anywhere where anyone can see!

This could be for one of two reasons.
Beauty Sensitivity/Artistic Nature.
The first of which has to do with an artistic, beauty seeking sense that is over sensitive to pain and all things not exquisitely beautiful, if even in the simplest form. To see not one, but two unattractive beings is sad. To see those two unattractive beings publicly scarring an otherwise beautiful act is ten times worse.

 Instinctual Desire for Selective Breeding.
The other option is one that most people prefer not to talk about and yet, perhaps, more widely desired. Everyone, everyone, loves pretty things. Pretty clothes, pretty sounds, pretty pictures, and pretty people. And, mankind in mind, selective breeding is a theory that, if properly executed, could ensure the outcome of pretty people. Beautiful men marry beautiful women and have beautiful babies. Those beautiful babies grow up and have more beautiful babies! In the process, unattractive people wouldn't be having babies. Mainly because they might have unattractive babies. No perfectionist wants that! Prettiness! Beauty! Art! Everything must be lovely. And so, to the extremist, seeing these unattractive people on the verge of making unattractive children is so horribly frightening that it disgusts and angers them.

And so PDA is unaccepted. Unless, of course, you're beautiful. Because no one minds that. From the pervert to the hopeless romantic, no one cares if they see two hot human beings making out. And that ladies and gentlemen, is a fact.

That's it for today folks!

March 01, 2011

If I Could Hit You, I Probably Would

It's true.

Well I just spent 15 minutes writing out a self-pitying, pathetic, stupid, whiny little post. And then I realized how self-pitying, pathetic, stupid, and whiny it was so I deleted it all. Now I'm writing this and wallowing in the depths of despair.